I won’t be posting much for the next 2 weeks. I know , your daily dose of Tyler is important to your well-being as a human. But I have other things to do. Like sit in front of the TV and watch bowl games, eating, watching more football and then getting presents. (honestly, december is man-heaven)

Plus, as a college student, my presents are still allowed to be cheap and I still get presents from most of the old folk.

Since I have nothing to post I give you this tidbit from Jeff Johnson

Yesterday at the Meadowlands in Mezzanine Section 212, a little Joe Pesci lookalike (minus about 25 years) who was cheering for the Buffalo Bills started turning around and yapping at a guy (who seemed pleasant enough) in a Jerricho Cotchery Jets jersey. The men were both seated in different rows in front of me.

I don’t know what precipitated this event (the Cotchery guy could have been a monumental ass, but I didn’t see it), but by some point in the middle of the second half, Little Joe Pesci turned around and challenged the guy to a fight. The guy merely laughed it off, which made Little Joe Pesci angrier.

How angry?

He called the guy a “Faggot” about four times. Then he paused. Turned around. And then turned back towards the Cotchery jerseyed guy and said: “I’m going to get you pregnant. I don’t know how it is going to happen, but you are going to be the first pregnant guy ever.”

It was at this point that Little Joe Pesci captured my undivided attention, and I became almost unhealthily invested in making sure Little Joe Pesci experienced some type of pain, either mentally, emotionally or physically. How completely retarded do you have to be to come up with that as an insult?

And we now have our new insult of the week. “I’m going to get you pregnant.”

Yeah. No homo.

21 - fine
A beautiful mind - great
atonement - good
blood diamond - good/great
bourne identity - great
bourne supremacy - good
bourne ultimatum - great
casino royale - epic
constantine - good
cradel to the grave - bad
crouching tiger hidden dragon - non-english
foot fist way - good
forgetting sarah marshall - good
get smart - fine
goldeneye - good
indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull - eh
ironman - epic
knocked up - great
lions for lambs - good
medal of honor - great
michael clayton - great
minority report - great
monty python - epic
oceans 11 - great
oceans 12 - great
oceans 13- greater
pirates of the carribean - epic
pirates II and III - eh
run fatboy run - good / great
sin city - good
step brothers - good
the dark knight - epic
the break up - good
the green mile - epic
tropic thunder - good / great
the recruit - good / great
v for vendetta - good / great
we are marshall - good
x-men - great

Which all brings me to my first ever John Wayne movie :

The Longest Day, which I watched last night. First off, its the longest movie also, but is very good. (You must be able to handle black and white film and the fact that apparently subtitles and their readability was not a factor thought about very much.)
I give it a pretty good, (which is really good considering how I normally hate older movies). Wayne isn’t the main character, ‘the duke’ is a smaller factor, but you will still feel like a man afterwards.

I know , I know, its rare to see me working; but I have been the past couple days after school finished, so here ya go. Some new portfolio additions.

Catapult Fail

Crane Fail

Parking Ticket Fail

Victory Fail

Best-Man Fail

The WTF are you doing Cat Fail

Fat Cat VS Small Box - Funny home videos are a click away

The Non-fail.

(my thoughts on current events)

1. Penn State just signed Joe Paterno to a 3-year extension …. so in other words, a life-sentence.

2. This

3. Obama has picked his self-described ‘best cabinet basketball team in history.’ I personally, don’t know a better way to pick the leaders of the free world than their basketball playing abilities…. well, maybe wife hotness level. In which case Lane Kiffin will be secretary of state.

4. Zimbabwe’s Air Force Chief survived an apparent assassination attempt yesterday. Yeah. I know, messed up. Who the heck let Zimbabwe have an air force?

5. Analogy of the Day.
Microsoft = Customer Service as Clay Aiken = Straight.

6. I bought Mya’s medicine at 1800petmeds.com in order to, and I quote, “cut out the middle man.” Somehow by cutting out the middle man I still have to drive to my Vet to pick up the prescription, then drive to fed ex to fax the prescription to 1800petmeds, rather than just drive to the vet and home. Epic Fail.

7. The Dark Knight is a good movie. I need someone to see James Bond with me.

8. 20 whole tickets have been sold to the Humanitarian Bowl so far… oh my, the bowl system is PERFECT. Playoffs would be a TRAVESTY TO ALL MANKIND. I would like to blame everyone over the age of 30 for a) destroying the world with your pollution b) destroying the economy with your terrible investment strategies and c) ruining my life for allowing this BCS system …. seriously, wait and see what kind of retirement benefits you receive from my generation. hint : it won’t be alot.

I suggested some shows for you to watch this season a couple months ago, and I think my predictions were pretty solid.

Best Geek Show - - Big Bang Theory (season two)
I didn’t watch this show until this season but it made me pick up season one Season 1 was an introduction season, and is decently funny, but Season 2 is hilarious. One of the top 3 or 4 comedies out there right now in my opinion. The nice thing is that to understand this your gonna have to be semi-geeky and semi-intelligent since alot of the humor is quick and above your average tv-fare. Also, the producers know that while watching geeks is fun you need a little Kaley Cuoco in your life …. and they play that side very well also. 4 / 5 stars.

Best All Around Comedy - - The Office
I mean… real surprise here. So far there has not been a downer week, and the last 3 weeks especially have been fall on the ground, spit out your drink, Dundie Award qualifying episodes. I would like to say one thing : everyone said watch the British version, and I’ve officially watched 2 seasons of it, and gave up. It doesn’t work the same way. Yeah watching this version probably ruined it, but Steve Carrell is a genius who I really want to just lock up in a box and watch him all day. Creepy? Yes. True sentiment for half of America? Yes.

Letdown of the Season - - Heroes
We were promised a complete re-doing of the series after the disastrous season 2. I believed them, I told you to watch it. I am sorry. The problem with the writing on this series is the writers …. suck. All heroes stories have to have SOME sort of rules , if you die, you die, etc… In heroes pretty much everyone has died once, if not twice, and thats when the series lost me… you can’t have a dramatic sad loss of a character because you know in the first 30 seconds of the next episode they will somehow regenerate and come back to the huge surprise of the others.

Best Show Featuring Less Than 3 Men — Two and a Half Men
See what I did there? Yeah, its my blog, I do what I want. Again, this show is awesome. Nothing more. I am about to watch the next episode which I know contains an Emilio Estevez cameo …. Flying V anybody?

Best Non-Comedy - - Fringe
I love it. Every Tuesday I tune into this show. It is this generation’s x-files. The first few episodes were good (though slightly repetitive) but now we are starting to get into the meat of the show finding out what the whole thing is about and its great. Each hour episode does have a problem that it wraps up tidily within that time period but the greater mystery grows so its an all around good time.

Honorable Mentions :
How I Met Your Mother — Pretty good, nothing great, worth the weekly TIVO though
30 Rock — Funny, not as funny as Big Bang Theory or The Office, I put it below How I Met Your Mother

January
The return of Jack Bauer (24) and Jack & Kate (new pic) (Lost) are both going to be awesome. I’m going out on a limb and promising you something special from 24 this season. The stuff I’ve seen looks real good and if you didn’t catch the 2 hour movie-thingy 2 weeks ago, it was pretty good and hopefully just a sign of a better season. Somehow there are people still out there who haven’t seen this show (Erik, my roommate) who I plan on forcing to watch the first 1-5 seasons this month. Lost also, I mean, last season was spectacular hopefully it continues. Please boycott natemcguire.com until he decided to start watching this show.

We were 1 second away, one ball slipping through a defensive player’s hands away from a perfect season. After a fantastic second half, and scoring, and me believing we could walk out of Lubbock with a save I was let down. All Tech has to do is lose to Oklahoma with dignity, I thought it was going to happen, they got blown out. I was let down. Texas remains ahead in the polls because of blowout wins and might just have enough to stave off the computers and send us to the national championship game. Did not happen, I was let down. Oklahoma beats Mizzou, giving Bradford more exposure than Colt, even though Colt had a better season… however, it was a close race and Colt might have won the heisman. But ten minutes ago I was let down.

All because of one terrible half of football. If texas showed up in the first half in lubbock we would be talking about Colt McCoy (Heisman winner) playing Tebow in the championship game but no. One missed int, one play with 9 seconds left in the game, its crazy how close we came.

However, I would like to say this.

Colt McCoy is a classy guy, along with Mack Brown.

Evidence :
(our guy supporting his team, the other guy putting down a rival instead of having support) By the way, all longhorns love it when you do the hook em horns upside down. a) we are obviously good enough for you to consider a hated team b) every time you buy a shirt with the upside down longhorn you send money to our athletic department which we then win with.

Also, Billy Simms, in the future, please recognize you are at a classy heisman trophy award ceremony not an Oklahoma frat party, yelling boomer at the top of your lungs on national tv only made you look like an idiot.

With that, I close my rant about the best University with the best football team and the best head coach and quarterback in the best city …. and I know that no matter how much you say it, you only envy the burnt orange and white.

Hook’ em 2008.

P.s. Florida, if you want to know how to blow up an offense and exploit a defense. Please refer to the game in Dallas. Even though it says goodbye to any chance for a split title, I hope you drop 80 on OU.

Somehow I had never seen this before.

It will make you laugh.

Just try not to.